Tuesday, June 9, 2015

4 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Live With Your New Boyfriend


We know that many of you have embarked in new relationships and as we get older, having a boyfriend seems more serious to us. But, don't confuse your perception of serious with the idea that you have to make serious, life-changing decisions early on. One question posed in a lot of relationships is "Should we live together?". We do caution living with a brand new person you've just barely started a relationship with for four (4) reasons:
  1. You will sacrifice solitude. Living with your new boyfriend means adopting a roommate. This means, no more privacy. You have to ask yourself if you're ready to share the same space with another person and sacrifice moments of peace and quiet.
  2. You might feel trapped. Signing a lease puts you in a legal bind for a set amount of time. What if things don't work out in your new relationship? Then, you run the risk of living in misery since you're tied to a lease. Even if you found a way out, the headache in finding someone to take over your lease is enough to not sign one in the first place.
  3. You will be playing house. Are you ready to potentially cook, clean, do your boyfriend's laundry, fold their clothes, and do every other thing that a wife might do for their husband? Expectations and standards may be set too high for you to handle.
  4. You may lose sight of working on the relationship. Moving in together is often times perceived as a huge step in a relationship. A lot of the time it implies that the next step is marriage. Along the way, it isn't uncommon to get so comfortable living together that effective communication gets lost and there is no progression in the relationship. You run the risk of signals getting crossed, complacency, stagnancy, or lack of interest overall in the relationship. 
Of course, not all living situations are the same and ultimately it is your decision how you want to move forward in your relationship and your living situation. Overall, it's all about being smart about your choices and weighing the pros and cons. "Am I just trying to save money?" "Am I ready to live with someone of the opposite sex?" "What am I trying to gain from living together?" These are some questions to ask yourself as you evaluate whether it's for you.

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