How To Get Through a Break Up

Getting through a break up is no easy feat, but you have to go THROUGH it before you can properly heal and move forward. Suppressing your feelings is a sure fire way to spiral into deep sadness or depression and life is too short to harbor your feelings and essentially self destruct. There is a healthier way to get through a break up and if you follow these tips, you will be on your way to emotional freedom and you'll be ready to tackle the next relationship just waiting for you!

• Confide In a Trusted Friend
• Feedback is so important while going through a break up. As much as it may seem easier to bottle up your emotions, hearing input from a trusted friend or someone who has also been in a relationship can offer more help than you think. No relationship is perfect and it's great to hear the perspective and advice from friends. They can offer a shoulder to cry on or words of wisdom.

• Travel
• Do NOT stay cooped up in your room to drown in your misery. Our thoughts are so powerful that you might find yourself suffocating in a confined space. Rather, take a trip away from it all. Whether it is a car ride with the windows down, a tropical vacation, or a fun trip to the happiest place on Earth, clear your mind so when you're ready to fully analyze the break up, your thoughts are not clouded.

• Write Down Your Thoughts
• If you want to make sense of your break up, write down everything that was shared between you and your ex that lead to the break up. Create bullet points so you can organize your thoughts. 

• After You Write Down Your Thoughts, Throw It Away
• Whether you throw away your thoughts physically or figuratively, it is important to move on. Don't rehash old thoughts because it will make you nuts and resurface negative emotions. The point in writing down your thoughts is to have a better understanding of where things went wrong in hopes that history does not repeat itself. 

• Cry
• Cry. Be human and let your body purge of the pain. Break ups can cause a lot of stress, often times not realized for a couple of days. Therefore, every second you feel like crying, allow yourself to-it's normal. The grief your body goes through after a break up is said to be in conjunction to the feeling of losing someone. Grieve; mourn the loss of the relationship and don't feel bad for doing so.

• Smile/Laugh
• Laughter is the best painkiller. Smiling and laughing will lift your spirits 100% of the time! Studies show that smiling and laughing improve your mood so don't hold back. 

• Listen To Upbeat Music
• Skip the sappy love songs and opt for upbeat tunes. Listening to music is such an easy, positive, free way to both lift your spirits and temporarily relieve pain/stress. 

• Find a Silver Lining
• Absolutely everything happens for a reason. Ask yourself: "What lesson can I learn from this past relationship?" There is a lesson to be learned from any relationship you embark on and you can apply those lessons to your next relationship whether it be with the same person in the future or a new person. 

Break ups are not the end of the world {though it feels like it..haha!}. Cry your tears, wipe them off, clean up your face, apply some makeup, and get out there and date. Life is too short to stay stuck on the past....learn from it and be the best individual that you can be. After all, you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else.

Why I Went Greek {Ali}

Ever since I found out what a sorority was, I wanted to join one.

My love for all things Greek started in about 2001, when I was first introduced to a character named Elle Woods.  She was smart, beautiful, sassy, and looked smashing while wearing pink.  Then in 2002, my love was confirmed when I watched the show "Sorority Life" on MTV.  Does anyone remember that show?  It completely intrigued me.  What was being in a sorority all about?  Who were these people, and more importantly-- what sorority were they in?!  It boggled my mind that the Greek letters were blurred out during the entire show, and I Googled relentlessly until I could find out which organization this show was all about.  There was so much drama, there were so many twists, and I spent so many hours glued to the screen.

But that was the movies.  That was made for TV.

As I left high school, I chose to stay in-state and attend Arizona State University.  The campus looked beautiful, there were many great shops and restaurants nearby, and Mom wasn't too far of a drive either when I wanted a home-cooked meal.  Plus they had an excellent Journalism & Communication program, so I was sold.  Even though I stayed in-state, a funny thing happened... NONE of my friends from high school chose to go to ASU.  They all either chose the rival college in Arizona, or to go out of state.  Big gulp... I was a lone ranger.  I was on my own to find a new circle of friends.  There was no question; I was going through sorority recruitment.  I signed up, and went shopping for outfits to wear to recruitment immediately.

Once Bid Day rolled around, I had lunch with my Mom by campus just before the big event.  As I sat there talking to her about my experience over the past weekend, I started crying.  I fell in love with the chapter I wanted to be in, and the connections I made meant so much to me... I cried just thinking about it.  The women in this chapter were ones that I identified with, looked up to, and were in alignment with my values.  Tears of happiness, I found my home.  And a few hours later, I found out that my wish came true.

As my first few years of college flew by, I was swept away in Greek pride.  I was so proud, that I painted our sorority name in neon pink spray paint on the wall of the spare bedroom where 3 of my sisters and I lived together.  Oh, and my car had a 3 foot wide decal on the back window too (in pink, with hearts).  I got involved.  I held positions, and they forced me to take action to improve my leadership skills... and get out of my comfort zone.  As one who liked to do things typically all on their own, I learned how to delegate and trust in my sisters to help me get the job done while I was recruitment chair.  One late night while living in the house, I bonded with a new friend in my pledge class.  We laughed, we cried, and we were inseparable from that day forward.  I was there the night she met her future husband at a fraternity house.  And, she stood beside me as my Matron of Honor at my wedding 3 months ago.

And then there was that one time I got in trouble... oh boy.  Now I could leave this story out, but I'm keeping it real... this humbling event was key to my experience.  While I thought I was having an innocent party one night, it didn't exactly play out that way when I got called in the following week.  Some of the new members were at the party, and our advisors weren't too happy with me.  I was so upset with myself, I cried for days.  But you know what?  It taught me a lesson.  I learned how to better look out for my friends, my chapter... my sisters.  How, you might ask?  Because it was up to people like me to ensure the chapter I loved stayed that way; it's the older members' responsibility to guide the new members in the right direction.  Sure, we had fun.  But sisterhood to me wasn't about a party.  Often times, it was the nights hanging out on the couch that meant the most.  Suddenly, I saw the bigger picture & a lightbulb went off... it all made sense.  Once things calmed down, I realized that my sisters cared enough about me to call me out when I was doing something wrong.  I respected them for doing that.  That's exactly what happens while you're in your early 20's; you grow up.  Now I'm not suggesting to go out there and be reckless, but it's ok to make mistakes too.  Being Greek holds you accountable, and reminds you to respect the values that made you fall in love with your chapter in the first place.  Thank goodness I had my sisters by my side to experience the growing pains together.  Those 4 years wouldn't have been close to the same without them, and I can't imagine it happening any other way.  And as I continue to grow for the rest of my life, I know that they'll be right there with me for the ride.

Today, the pride I take in being Greek has taken on a new meaning... beyond any massive sticker I could place on the back of my car window.  I can say with my whole heart that choosing to go Greek is one of the most important decisions I've made in my life.  I met my bridesmaids, it challenged me as a person (and made me a better one), and I've built a career for myself out of something that I hold so dear to my heart.  It taught me to be a better friend, a better leader, and a better woman.  I even attribute my decision of going Greek to meeting my husband; if it wasn't for the people I met in my sorority, I might not have ever met him.  After graduation, being Greek takes on a whole new meaning... when you meet another woman who is also a Greek alum, it's instant common ground (same organization as you or not, it doesn't matter).  I'm fortunate that I get to stay connected to Greek life through both The Sorority Secrets, and through my company 224 Apparel as well.  Even after I've graduated, I'm able to give back to something that has given so much to me... and it gives me true joy.  I believe in sorority women.  They are among the most powerful, influential, and caring people I know.  It's an honor to be a part of such an organization, and part of a legacy of remarkable women.  I'll be forever proud to be a Greek woman, and grateful for my decision to Go Greek.

{P.S.} no TV show can capture the magic of what it's really like.  Not even close :)

Xoxo,
Ali

Why I Went Greek {Karen}

Yesterday, we highlighted why Co Founder, Sakura "went Greek" Today, find out why Co Founder, Karen "went Greek"!

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My story is really unique in the sense that I knew absolutely NOTHING about sororities. I of course heard about them via movies, but didn't quite understand it.

Here is a little background on me. I am Nigerian-American. I was born and raised in America, however, both of my parents are Nigerian. As my parents assimilated to the American culture, we were brought up in a predominantly Caucasian neighborhood. The majority of my friends were of that race and as I continued throughout junior high and high school I tried to diversify my circle of friends, however, I yearned for more African-American girlfriends.

As I entered into my Freshman year of college I had heard about sororities that fostered young African-American women. Eager to learn more about it, I went up to the Greek Offices. When I went up to the Greek Offices toward the Non-Panhellenic area, no one was there. However, across the way in the Panhellenic area stood a tall, black woman. She said, "Can I help you?" I then let her know I was looking to talk to her about joining a historically black sorority. The tall, black girl further introduced herself as Kiara and politely asked if there was a reason why I wanted to join the all black sorority. I gave her my spiel that I explained earlier and she then stopped me and said, "Karen, I am not in an all black sorority and I have made some amazing relationships with women who I call my sisters. We have all races in my sorority, even black women. At the end of the day, it shouldn't be about the race of girls, it should be about where you feel most comfortable ". Kiara had a great point. To be honest, I have never defined my life by race. For those who know me, I have a diverse circle and seek to learn the person BEHIND the skin shade. While I do believe that there are some things similar races can vibe on, I prefer to surround myself among all walks and colors of life. Kiara then suggested that I participate in the Panhellenic recruitment which happened to be that weekend--I had nothing to lose as the historically black sororities were not looking for new members until the next semester anyway. I figured if the recruitment that weekend didn't work out, I still had the opportunity to check out the historically black sororities. Long story short, going through recruitment that weekend was the best decision of my life. I met women who I could relate to on all levels and they helped to shape my positive college experience. From holding various roles like Recruitment Chair, Social Chair, and choreographing fun philanthropic dances, I was able to practice my leadership skills and overall have a blast in college. Above all else, without my sorority experience I would not have met Sakura and Ali to start The Sorority Secrets. For that, I am grateful.

What's your positive story on why you went Greek? Share with us below!

Why I Went Greek {Sakura}

This week we wanted to highlight each of our individual stories on why we went Greek in lieu of many of you going through recruitment right now. First up, Sakura!

6 years ago, I made the best life-changing decision I have ever made and yup, you guessed it… I went Greek.  To be honest, Greek life was a complete mystery to me.  None of my family members were ever apart of Greek life and my hometown college, University of Nevada-Reno, wasn’t very big in Greek life at the time- so I really had no idea what it was all about.  I knew that Greek life can be negatively stereotyped at times, but I knew that there was so much more to it and I had to find out for myself.

I grew up in a small town in Northern Nevada where everyone knows everyone, so when I decided to go to Arizona State University, I knew that everything was about to change.  As I made my move to Arizona knowing no one, I was a little nervous as to how I would make these next four years in Arizona my new “home”.  I was an out-of-state student with a random roommate in an apartment, because I was not “comfortable” living in the dorms (huge mistake).  All I can say is that I was eager to find new friends and fill that hole in my heart of not being with my family and my childhood friends.   

I remember the first week of my freshman year like it was yesterday- getting lost on campus, walking from class to class by myself, and eating alone at the Memorial Union.  It was awful, but little did I know that it was all a blessing in disguise.  During my first “miserable” week, I had my first encounter with what being in a sorority was all about.  The first week of school at Arizona State University is promo week for Greek life and all the sorority women are wearing matching outfits with their letters on it.  I easily recognized which girls were apart of Greek life and saw these sorority women walking from class to class together, eating lunch, and hanging out between classes.   It was everything I wanted.  I registered for recruitment that day and was looking forward to that following weekend for recruitment to start. 

Looking back, recruitment was sort of a blur- it was a whirlwind to say the least.  I remember being torn by two sororities, but I thought long-term.  I loved the women in both of these sororities, but one of them seemed like the typical “fun” sorority, while the other seemed a little more… me.   I really wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do- do I go outside of my comfort zone or do I stay in my comfort zone?

I asked myself…

Which group of women could I rely on when something bad happens?

Who will be there for me?

Who will I feel more comfortable with?

Those three questions lead me to my new home, my new friends, and my new family.  I joined the sorority that was for me and nothing else. It has been 6 years since I became a part of Greek life and I wouldn’t be where I am today without it.  I have met the smartest, most hardworking women and they have inspired me in so many different ways.  Without being apart of a sorority, I never would have met my sisters and now business partners to start The Sorority Secrets either.

The only thing I can advise to those going through recruitment is choose the house for you- not because you’re a legacy, your friends’ decision, or the reputation of the house.  Do it for you and everything else will fall into place!

xoxo,

Sakura

Sisters Succeeding: Bryanne Lawless

Starting your own company is not easy- it takes hard work, dedication, and patience!  A firm believer in the power of cross collaboration, Bryanne Lawless has simultaneously operated 3 different types of businesses but with similar synergies that can be applied across the complete spectrum of marketing and PR. She has developed and implemented creative and unique marketing and PR strategies and proposals that cover industries such as hospitality, fashion, beauty, and lifestyle. Bryanne has extensive industry contacts developed through her regional experience of over 8 years with deep relationships within Southern California. She also garners an industry wide reputation of creating, organizing and implementing small to large scale events that complement client outlook and overall message. A Kappa Kappa Gamma Alum, she now is the Managing Partner of BLND Public Relations, Located in Los Angeles. 

The Sorority Secrets sits down with Bryanne to get the ins & outs of the PR industry, how to get started in the industry, the ups & downs, and her #1 advice to people that are getting into the industry!

1.    How long have you been in Public Relations?

I’ve been in PR and Marketing since I was a child to be honest. I’ve always been quite the talker and putting things together just comes naturally to me.

2.    What sparked you to start your own PR company?

I was working at a local newspaper and found that when I was speaking with clients buying ad space that they had no one helping them with getting the word out and doing PR/marketing for their companies. More than one of them told me that they would love help in that area, and began to ask for my advice. Huge companies had huge agencies representing them but there wasn’t a PR firm in the area representing the local brands.

3.    Who's your dream client?

My dream client is someone who knows what they want. Their branding is on point or they are willing to have us rebrand them. Branding and aesthetics are really 90% of your business now a days and it makes our job so difficult to sell and pitch something that we know is bland. People who often flip flop back and forth on ideas or never see something from Start to finish make our jobs much more difficult.

4.    What are your 3 must-have beauty products?

My Daily Routine :

Purity Face Wash – By Philosophy – My skin is always so clear and fresh with this stuff

My Clean and Clear Oil Free Moisturizer –Never too oily and always keeps me moisturized

Smolder MAC Liner and The Orange Covergirl Lash Blast Mascara

5.    What is your schedule typically like day to day?

one: Wake up around 7am to take my maltipoo, Benzo, out for a quick walk to the beach.

two: Head into the office by 9am

three: Conference calls, client meetings, pitching, writing, social media, Emails

four: Leave the office around 6pm

five: This is where it’s choose your own adventure:

    Option 1: Head to the gym (if possible/hopefully)

    Come home and pour myself a glass of red wine and maybe cook some dinner or order some thai!       Plop myself on couch and enjoy some RHOOC

    Option 2: Client Dinner or Event

    Option 3: Drinks/Dinner with the girls for a catch up sesh

6.    What are the ups & downs of being in the PR industry?

It’s a high stress job but the happiness that it brings you when you land a big press placement for the client or have an amazing event is undoubtedly worth every minute of stress. I always tell interns when they start that they will know within a week whether PR is for them or not. It’s not something that grows on you and it’s not something that you get over. You either LOVE it or you hate it. That’s it.

7.    If you can have anyone's closet- who would it be?

Definitely Khloe Kardashian. She is AH-Mazing! Like her, I’m also not the skinniest girl in the room so her stuff would fit me! I’d pick Kate Moss or Leighton Meister but I mean, Let’s be honest mama ain’t fitting into their wardrobes.

8.    What do you like to do in your free time?

Honestly I don’t have a lot of free time. I work A LOT. Having your own business is not easy! Any “free time” I come across is time that I MAKE happen. I love going on quick vacations. I was just in Cabo for 4 days and it was AMAZING.. .However even on vacation I find myself working quite a bit.

9.   Name 3 things in your purse that you can't live without?

My Smith’s Rosebud Salve Lip Balm

My iphone-OBVIOUSLY

MY Sapphire Credit card-The only thing I buy anything with.. I live for the points..Makes me feel less guilty.

10. What is your #1 advice for people that are going into the PR industry?

Make sure you intern somewhere first in college before you declare it as your major so you KNOW that it’s something you love. The business is hard and you really have to be passionate about it for it to work. There is of course things you can learn and grow from - but you really have it or you don't. And there's no point in forcing yourself to fit into someone else's mold.

Thanks again to Bryanne for sitting with us!  Feel free to reach out to Bryanne for any questions!

Lather Up! Our Sunscreen Secrets

[1.Neutrogena Beach Defense SPF 30 Lotion 2.Neutrogena Ultra Sheer Dry-Touch Sunscreen, SPF 45 3.Obagi ProfessionalC Suncare Broad Spectrum SPF 30 4. Banana Boat Ultra Defense Broad Spectrum Sunscreen, SPF 50 Lotion, 8 fl oz]

Last week we got really inspired by this awesome video created by Thomas Leveritt, posted by Upworthy that highlights the importance of sunscreen. As Arizona girls, we have always been taught to wear sunscreen since the sun is pretty much out 24/7! However, often times sunscreen has been a chore to put on. Well, Thomas Leveritt's video further shows us why wearing sunscreen is important because it severely protects our skin from sun damage. It doesn't matter if your skin is light or dark; we all need sun protection to some degree.

TSS Reader and Alpha Delta Pi alumnae, Stephanie Rosa works for a company called Solta Medical, a division of Valeant Aesthetics. We reached out to her to get some better insight on the importance of sunscreen. Stephanie shared that,"The Importance of putting sunscreen on is huge! You should wear it every day, 35 SPF minimum, although 50 is recommended. Anything above 50 (75,90) doesn't make a difference, it's all marketing gimmicks. Also, the term water resistant is now being revoked by the FDA because it's not possible to have a sunscreen that is water resistant. That'll be seen in the next few months. Also, it's necessary to have UVA & UVB protection for it to do it's job! FDA will now require companies to state that it has both to be considered proper sunscreen". 

Stephanie further explained that,"Obagi makes several lines that work wonderfully and feel awesome on the skin. I use the Obagi Professional C Sunscreen and I LOVE it! It works really well as a primer too. Lastly, always having Vitamin C in addition to the sunscreen is a must. The Vitamin C serves as a serum/antioxidant".

What sunscreen do you recommend to stay protected? Share with us below!

Back to School Fall Bags {all under $75!}

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School is officially back in session and although it's a bit bittersweet that summer has come to an end, there are tons of exciting things to look forward to- like getting a new bag for the year!  Picking out a new bag for the school year isn't as easy as it sounds- it has to be cute, durable, last the whole year (at least!), and fit your college budget. Also, with Fall coming around the corner, it has to go with all the cute fall outfits!

Today we're sharing our 7 favorite Fall bags!  Whether you're a backpack kinda girl or a messenger bag girl, we've got it all right here for you. These bags are all under $75 and they're made out of great materials that'll last a long time!

Happy Tuesday! xo