What You Probably Don't Know About Mental Illness

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With the sudden passing of Robin Williams we can't help but wonder how many people don't fully understand mental illness. We know that suicide is a choice, but what if your brain cannot mentally understand the value between living on this Earth or not? Where you would much rather stop this war in your head because you really see it as the only way out. Someone you know out there is smiling on the outside and dying on the inside. Take the time to look past that smile and understand what is going on deep down inside. It starts with picking up the phone and simply saying, "How is everything going?" Being in a sorority we were exposed to a lot of different women with different backgrounds and different issues they were dealing with. Mental illness was one that was very new to us. A common misconception about mental illness is that it is a choice. A mental illness (also referred to as a "mental disorder" or "psychiatric disorder") is a mental or behavioral pattern that causes either suffering or an impaired ability to function in ordinary life, and which is not developmentally or socially normative. 

Mental disorders are generally defined by a combination of how a person feels, acts, thinks or perceives. This may be associated with particular regions or functions of the brain or rest of the nervous system, often in a social context. Karen had a sorority sister who she felt seemed a little off in her behavior so one day she started to inquire about her well being until eventually this sorority sister broke down and told her she was fighting a lot of depression and feelings of self hate that she couldn't explain. It turns out that she had a hereditary mental illness and through much trials and tribulations she got on the right medications to work through her mental illness. 

What you probably don't know about mental illness is that the person suffering from it can still function in society. Meaning, while dying within, they are able to blend in. That is why things like suicide from mental illness catch people off guard, especially those seeing them on the exterior as okay. 

What you probably also don't know about mental illness is that for those suffering from it, it is hard for them to ask for help. Society treats people with mental illnesses like outcasts. Often times we hear things like, "You're crazy!" and "You're psycho!" in a way to put someone down, therefore, actually being those things is seen to be negative.

What you probably also don't know about mental illness is that YOU can help. Though diagnosing and treating mental illness is a long journey, it can be treated to some extents like psychotherapy and psychiatric medication, social interventions, peer support and self-help. Invest in your friends/family members going through it by constantly checking up on them and making them feel safe in your presence as they go through the difficult time of handling their disorder.

At the end of the day, don't be a surface friend. Have deeper meaningful relationships with people to uncover what demons they are fighting within. You will find comfort in knowing that you did everything you could to help save someone's life.

Need help in identifying mental illness or are you suffering from it? We recommend checking out NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness for more help. They have valuable education and help on dealing with mental illness. 

Why it's OK to be Single in College

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Whether you’re in a relationship or not, we all have a “timeline”.  You know, the timeline that we magically came up with one day that determines when we’re getting engaged, married, and having little mini me’s running around. Well, we’re here to tell you to throw that timeline away!  This is your life; not a book, and life is unpredictable.  Just because all of your friends are getting boyfriends doesn’t mean that you have to suddenly get a boyfriend!  Today's post is for all of you single ladies… we’re here to tell you why it’s okay to be single during college!

1. Build amazing friendships

College is the best time to build life-long friendships. Experience things with your friends and make great memories during your college years.  Once you’re out in the real world, it’s a little more difficult to find time to hang out with girlfriends! Your friends are your support group and the people that will always be by your side.

2. Career girl

Not that having a boyfriend disables you from pursuing your career, but your “life changing” decisions may be affected by your relationship- such as graduating, getting a job, and moving! This is your life. Work hard and put extra hours for that dream job of yours!

3. I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

Being independent isn’t a “pride” thing- it’s knowing how to be on your own, being comfortable with who you are, and learning how to deal with things without anyone’s help.  In your twenties, it’s especially important to learn about independence because it’s the decade of personal growth.  Enjoy a Friday night alone… it’s rejuvenating!

4. Be selfish

Once you are married and have kids, you have to make decisions depending on other people’s best interests. This is the one time in your life where you can make decisions for yourself and no one else’s. Take advantage of this time and be selfish and focus on achieving your wants and needs!

5. The world is your oyster

This is your life! Do what you want, whenever you want!  Take the opportunities that life has to offer and make sure to live life with no regrets! Oh... and TRAVEL!

6. Go on dates!

Just because we’re all for being single during college, doesn’t mean we’re anti-boys! We encourage you to go on dates, have fun, and take this time to figure out what qualities you want in your future significant other!  It’s all about trial and error!

10 Essentials: Recruitment Videos

The trend of recruitment videos is on the rise.  Chapters nationwide are taking part, and creating videos to share in the excitement of recruitment season!  They can be a great tool for recruitment as well.  We posted some favorites a while back, to check out for inspiration!  Our first video has some great ideas too.  But what exactly makes for a great recruitment video?  What tips can your chapter use to set your video apart from the rest?  We've compiled 10 essentials to help make your video the best it can be!

1. Music

Music sets the tone and mood for the video.  Go with something energetic to amp it up (check out our Summer Playlist & EDM Workout Playlist for ideas), and infuse it with more mellow tracks to add emphasis to sentimental parts.  Your videographer can often mix songs together to do this, to transition from mood to mood.  Adding a small break in the video (such as fading the screen to white and then coming back on again) can help to make the shift in moods easier between segments.  Or, pick one song the whole way through and stick with it.  There are plenty of great songs out there, so you can pick one that's uniquely yours!  Pay attention to the lyrics in the songs to make sure they fit the tone you're trying to get across.  At the end of the video, you can add credits to the songs you chose.

2. Lighting

Lighting is everything!  If you're going for outdoor shots, lighting is best either in the morning or mid to late afternoon.  Direct sunlight during lunchtime hours (from 11:30am until about 1:30pm) can be harsh, and can create unwanted shadows.  Plus, you don't want to be squinting from the sun!  Shoot outdoors during prime lighting hours, and you will capture the natural "glow" that makes everything look magical.

3. Showcase Your Sisterhood

Who are you?  What is your chapter all about?  Be sure to include this in the video, and capture the essence of who you are as a sisterhood.  Being in a sorority isn't all about perfectly staged glamour shots either, so be sure to include shots of simply being yourselves-- who you are on a daily basis.  This adds personality and authenticity to the video.

4. Add Interviews

Adding a message from the president or recruitment chair, even a few sentences, makes for a personal touch.  This can be accomplished as either a voiceover (paired with different footage while she's talking) or as a direct interview where she's seen talking to the camera.  She can also look slightly away from the camera, to give the look like she's talking to someone else.  Not all of the interview needs to be shown; your videographer can edit the interview to include the best highlights.  Other chapter members can also be interviewed, and pairing sisters off (such as a big/little duo) to show their personalities is great too!  The background music can fade down during these parts, so it's not completely off while you listen to people speaking.

5. Tidy Up

If you're shooting inside your chapter house, make sure things are looking as clean as possible.  Be mindful of any eyesores (such as garbage cans, trash, or messy piles) laying around, so you can move them out of the shots.  Think of the little details too, such as clean nails.  Not everyone needs to run out and get a manicure, but make sure that your nails are dirt-free!

6. Get Creative

Videos are a great time to show your creativity.  Think of shots that are outside the box... not everything needs to show smiling faces.  Think close up "moving picture" shots; such as things hanging on the walls, t-shirts you have created, accessories, arms linked together from behind, you get the idea.  You can also infuse black & white footage, or "Instagram" like filters or colors in certain scenes.  Put together some sort of storyline, so the video has a clear concept from beginning to end.

7. Have Fun & Be Yourself

Capture the moments, get candid.  Be silly.  Adding some "behind the scenes" footage or "bloopers" can add an element of fun to the video!  It shows who you are, and that you don't take yourselves too seriously.  

8. Smile

Laugh, smile, feel the happiness that is your sisterhood.  There's nothing like true happiness... and when it's captured on film, it's pure magic.

9. Get Styled

Plan out any looks or outfits prior to shooting the video, so you're not racing to put outfits together last minute.  Go for a color scheme, or similar accessories.  Not everyone needs to look like an identical cookie cutter either... your sisters can showcase their own personal style, while still looking visually cohesive with the group in the video.  Take a bohemian theme for example; flowy tops, jeans, shorts, maxi dresses, kimonos, floppy hats, turquoise jewelry, flower crowns... it all works!

10. Time It Right

Videos should be just long enough, but not too long.  Keep it under 3-4 minutes, so you keep your audience's attention.  Even better, keep it under 2 minutes, and you'll leave your viewers wanting more!  Edit the scenes, so you're left with only the footage that truly is the best.

Do you have any tips for a great recruitment video?  Share with us below, and also be sure to share your videos with us as well!  We would love to see!

8 Perfect Nail Polish Colors for Recruitment

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8

Recruitment season is coming up in a flash and it's time to get all the small details in line!  When it comes to nails for recruitment, it's important to keep it neutral with pinks, nudes, and even white.  There are so many different brands and shades of neutral colors that it becomes difficult to pick which one is best for your entire sorority to wear during recruitment!  Well, don't you worry because The Sorority Secrets is here to solve your dilemma! 

1. Spaghetti Strap - the perfectly sheer pink

2. Cuppa - a great color for the "matte" nude look

3. Samoan Sand - pinkish-nude color with a glossy finish

4. Pink Cloud - the perfect pink color 

5. Baby Love - this color is a mix of white and light pink

6. Vampire is Buff - a great color if you're looking for something in between white & nude!

7. Naked - the perfect nude

8. Lady Like - a subtle shade of purple

What are some other polishes that you would suggest?

5 Games To Play With Your Friends

While we absolutely LOVE going out and enjoying the party scene, staying inside the comfort of your home with your greatest friends is something we each look forward to ever now and again. Sakura has actually made Game Night a weekly gathering at her place and everyone has a blast. If you're also looking to have a Game Night with your friends we have compiled a list of some of our all-time favorites!

1. Electronic Catch Phrase

This hand held game is super fun if you have a group of friends over! Ali recently discovered it and we are all hooked. It has a buzzer on it and what you have to do is guess the phrase in time. Sort of like hot potato!

    2. Heads Up!

Anything Ellen Degeneres supports we support...haha! This game is all kinds of awesome and you can download it from the App Store. All you need is your phone to play this game with a circle of your friends. Basically, you choose a category and then place the phone on your forward. Your friends are then supposed to act out what is on your phone screen while you try to guess it in time. The best thing of all, your friends are being recorded! You can playback the footage and laugh at how crazy your friends look!

  3. Taboo

An oldie, but a goodie! Separate into teams and watch as everyone gets super competitive trying to guess the right word on each card. We especially love this game for girl sleepovers!

4. Cranium

This is a fun board game that gets you thinking! The more players, the more fun it is! It has similar elements to other popular games like Pictionary and Charades. Basically, players have to successfully complete activities in each of the four sections to win which include: 

- Creative Cat : A player must clue a word to his or her teammates by drawing it, sculpting it in clay, or drawing it with his or her eyes closed.

- Data Head : A variety of trivia questions.

- Word Worm : Players unscramble words, spell challenging words, guess definitions, identify words with letters left out, or spell words backwords.

- Star Performer : players must whistle a song, impersonate a celebrity, or act out a clue.[source: Board Game Geek]

5. Cards Against Humanity

By far CAH is one of our most favorite games to play with our friends. The game is simple. Each round, one player asks a question from a black card, and everyone else answers with their funniest white card.

What are some fun games you like to play with your friends? Share them below!

Must-Have Back to School Items!

planner | paperweight | journal | desk lamp | phone charger

tray | desk calendar (coming soon)| ear buds | mouse pad | pencil sharpener 

Summer is coming to an end and the new school year is right around the corner!  We love the beginning of the school year- recruitment, football games, and being back with your sisters! It's all so exciting! Back to school shopping for your closet is one thing, but it's also important to get new items for your desk to help you study (wink wink)!  There are so many adorable things out in store right now that we wanted to compile all of our favorite items just for you- we'll make your shopping list easy!  

First of all, can we take a second to talk about how adorable all of ban.do's stuff is?  Their planner especially is the most amazing thing- very detailed, tons of room to write out your full schedule, cute stickers (that's right, cute stickers), and so much more!   We're also loving this chic desk lamp from Anthropologie!  It's pretty small and it does a whole lot of brightening up because it doesn't have a lamp shade! 

We're always on the lookout for cute school/desk supplies! Where are some places you like to shop at?

Recruitment Conversation All-Star Tips

{photo credit: ASU Delta Gamma}

It's the most wonderful time of the year!  Nope, not the holidays... recruitment!  That's right, Bid Day and meeting the new additions to your chapter are right around the corner.  But before that can happen, recruitment needs to happen first.  It's time to get dressed up, sing songs, possibly lose your voice, and spend a few long days & nights with your sisters!  In all seriousness, recruitment really is our favorite time of the school year.  And, we can't forget what's most important here... the potential new members (aka PNMs).  Yes, it can sometimes feel like friendship speed-dating.  But, you're on a mission to make a connection; you're on a mission to find your new sisters.  Keep our key tips in mind, and you'll feel like a recruitment conversation all-star in no time!

#1: Make a Connection
When talking to the PNMs, your goal is to get to know them.  Make a connection!  Find out who she is, beyond just her major and what hometown she's from.  What are her interests?  What's her group of friends like from high school or back home?  What activities or hobbies does she enjoy?  Share a laugh together, break the ice.  Let her feel invited to share more about herself with you.  Tell a personal story, and encourage her to do the same.  Get to know who she is beyond the surface.  Your warm & friendly attitude will help for both of you to feel more comfortable and natural, in a setting that can sometimes feel otherwise.

#2: Ask Thoughtful Questions
Ask open-ended questions.  The PNM's replies should require more than simply a "yes" or "no" answer.  Take that question, and roll with it!  Lead it into a conversation.  Talk to her like a friend, where you each share your thoughts.  Nobody likes to have questions fired at them (which feels more like an interview) so talk about each topic a little before moving on to the next.  If you can tell she's not enthusiastic about the topic at hand, be prepared to lead into something else.  Find common ground.  Don't focus on "selling" your sorority too much; focus more on getting to know her.

#3: Topics, Topics, Topics
Okay, you're meeting a girl you have never met before, and you have to talk to her for anywhere from 5-20 minutes straight.  Piece of cake!  Have an idea of what you want to talk about, and where to take the conversation if it needs some help.  You want to have the best conversation possible with each PNM, to get to know her without the little factors (like feeling nervous) getting in the way.  Since you've been through recruitment before, you be the pro & guide her.  Here are a few favorite topics:

• Ask her where she's from.  Lead it into a conversation about where she's traveled to, or any other places she has lived over the years.
• Ask her how recruitment is going, how she's liking it so far.  What made her want to join a sorority?  You can share how you felt going through recruitment (keep it positive & neutral), and why you wanted to join a sorority.
• What made her want to come to your university?
• Is she living in a dorm?  An apartment?  Does she have a roommate?  Ask her how she likes it.  If you lived in a similar dorm or apartment, you can share about it too.  If the topic goes well, you can ask her how she decorated it!
• What are her friends like back home, or from before coming to college?  This can lead into talking about how your organization can provide great friendships.  Make it personal-- mention the friendships you have made, and what they mean to you.  And in general, friends are a safer topic than family.  
• Did she play any sports or do any activities in high school?  Talk about it.  For example, if she played volleyball & your chapter has an intramural team, she would probably love to know!
• A sincere compliment on something she's wearing is great when you truly mean it.  Be mindful to not talk about shopping/clothes for too long, and lead into another topic that will help you get to know each other in a more meaningful way.  
• A good icebreaker: favorite places to eat around campus.  
• The "what's your major?" question is bound to happen, but try to not rely on it too much (especially after the first day of recruitment, she's been asked many times by then).  Your topics should be a well-rounded balance of school, fun, and friends.  After all, your organization is well-rounded too!
• Partying, guys, bad words, etc... avoid them, as you probably already know!  Gracefully change the topic if it gets brought up.  There is so much more to friendship & sisterhood other than these topics, and that's what you're trying to get to know about her in a short amount of time.
• Is the PNM funny & quirky, and you're funny & quirky?  By all means, be yourself!  Keep the conversation appropriate, and you're golden.

#4: Find A Happy Medium
Recruitment conversation is all about balancing happy mediums.  Talk about her, talk about you/your organization, laugh together, get sentimental together.  In other words, don't make it all about you or take yourself too seriously.  Stay away from the negative, focus on the positive.  Yes, complaining that your feet hurt counts as negative; be present in the moment of your conversation, instead of worrying about your feet.  Have fun and be natural, and follow your chapter's guidelines as well.  Find a balance, like the conversational flow between two friends, which brings us to our next tip...

#5: Be Friends
Once you break the ice, treat the conversation as you would with an old friend.  Give the PNM your genuine undivided attention.  Let the topics flow easily.  Be authentic.  Connect with good eye contact.  This will help both of you to be your true selves, and will also help both of you decide if your chapter is her home sweet home.

#6: Be Kind
No matter what, there's one rule of thumb-- be kind.  Be polite, be respectful, be gracious.  Treat each PNM you meet with genuine kindness, and you're already an all-star.  Great conversations make you & your house stand out, and leave a positive lasting impression for everyone!

Sure, recruitment can be stressful at times.  But more than anything, remember how much fun it is too!  It's an honor to recruit the new members that will carry on your chapter's legacy long after your graduation.  Enjoy the little moments, and each conversation.  You'll be celebrating with your new members at Bid Day before you know it!

(p.s. don't forget to check out our Master List of Bid Day Themes!)